Tribute to Amma...

Amma! where are you? They say you are gone!

“Gone” my heart refuses to accept while my mind tries to mind it!

I can still feel the gentle touch of your hand, your warm hug, the brushing of your long nose with my fingers, the lovely smile and those caring eyes! Yes, I see you all the time!

How can I forget the sleepless nights, hurtful moments, fearful ailments and hurdles you crossed to serve your family and make me a person of substance! And teach me being a good teacher life's greatest lessons!

It is an understatement to say you did a great “Sacrifice”! Your every breath and every step was for ME and people around ME!

No offense! Yes, I emphasize the “ME” but in your Life’s mirror it reflects every “ME” that knows you and been with you! “ME” is everyone who knew you!

Amma! Do you Know??

My ears still hear your voice! Voice with that tender love! Everyone I know calls me “Jayu” but not the way you called me! That was special and only I know what it meant!

When I am playing with kids I know you are watching us from above with that lovely smile up in the white clouds!

When the wind trickles through the terrace garden I can feel your breeze!

When those flowers smile, I see those bright eyes of yours when looking at me!

When I meet my cousins I know they are smiling at you and talking to you! Yes, “with you” within me!

When Nana is upset I know you are with me to console him! To watch over me to give him that space! Space to heal and be considerate! “I will” and that’s a promise!

When Kamala and kids are around we can feel you are watching over us! Yes, we feel the warmth, the warmth of that love that is eternal!

Kids, Kamala, Nana and Rani never miss even a day to wash their eyes with tears of love for you!! I am sure there are many who shed tears elsewhere to cherish the moments they spent with you!

Family was so close to your heart! Some call you Pinnamma, some call you Atha, some call you sister, some call you Amma, but nevertheless you are imbibed in their hearts!

Imbibed deep within their soul! Every smile they smile, every drop of tear they shed, every grain of rice they eat,  every moment they cherish you are truly there! No holds barred they feel your touch! Your touch that made their lives better!

“Life is a train journey and passengers need to alight when their station arrives” you said! But you never informed when your station arrived! :-(

When I get up to pray nowadays, I realize my prayer has changed! Change is the only permanent thing in the world they say! But I pray that my love for you and your love for us never changes!

I cried a lot when you were in pain! I feared and trembled the day you won’t be there with me anymore! I wondered who would guide me and love me like you can! I know nobody can replace you and your love! Love that is Divine!

But your life was complete and that’s a solace! Solace for my broken heart that I can see you in every person I meet and life has come a full circle!

But I guess you decided to give us farewell to be on a higher plane! And shine on us among the stars at life’s darkest hours! 

Please forgive me for my wrongs! For any words that I could have uttered or things I could have done that might have upset you! For the love I had and will have for you is Supreme! Never with my heart I could hurt you ever!

You did everything with a smile and the Hope of a better future! Future where everyone lives in peace and become wiser with their life’s journey!

To say “Thanks” is an understatement. The bond and the impression you left is irreplaceable! Yes, matchless like the Bhadrachala Ramadasu whom you revered so much! I guess you decided to reach Lord Rama’s feet after going through the journey called “life”!

For those who did not understand you it’s a Shame! Shame on those souls that cannot see through your beautiful heart! Heart that beat every second for others! Forgive them if you can!

I miss you Amma! And I “We” will always love you! Greatest Mom, wife, Pinamma, Atha, co-sister, co-mother (for all my friends), cousin, relation, neighbor, friend anybody could have!